Identifying your why is one of the most important things to do. Giving yourself a real reason you can stick behind when it gets really hard, will save you. You can learn how to stay motivated by using your why. For this, you will have to dig deep. You wont find it on the surface. It will be hiding behind some big emotions, so just get ready for that, because it may be a shit storm wading through all of that. But I promise it will be worth it. Doing something when you don’t want to do it will separate the people who achieve their goals from those who don’t. I know which side I want to be on.
When we are searching for our why, we’re going to have to get a little “selfish”. I do not find self work and development to be selfish, but I know that it can feel that way. I don’t want your why to be your kids, or your husband, or to look good in a bikini. Don’t get me wrong, those are great reasons and all. Yes, I want to be here to watch my son grow up and give him a mother who is present. I want to be a good wife or girlfriend and be able to give to my partner. And hell yeah I want to look good in a bikini (which is subjective anyways).
But I want more than that from you. If those are reasons where you want to start, then great. Once you are there though, is where we will start turning inward. For this exercise it really helps to write it down in a journal. I know, shocking that I would suggest that. You know how I feel about journaling. If you already have a few of those reasons like we mentioned above, write those down. Do you remember when we talked about asking yourself that one question? We ask ourselves why until we have the answer. Like, you’re going to annoy yourself with this.
The more you ask it, the further you will able to dig. I started with a reason of, I want to look good and I want to be happy. Then I asked myself, you guessed it, why. It may sound weird to ask yourself why you want to be happy. Just go with me here. The purpose is to get past the superficial reasons. Interestingly enough, my real reason for why behind both, was because I want to feel like myself. Everything I wrote kept pointing to one thing. That the way I was living now, did not feel in alignment with who I truly am.
It can be really easy to lose sight of who you are. We gain weight, we go through divorce, we have kids, we work. All of those things take up so much time and energy. The really big things can feel like they take a little part of who we are away from us. We have to fight for ourselves. Make time for ourselves. And not be superficial with ourselves. Then we have to remember how to stay motivated using our why. When I gained weight, I lost a huge part of my identity. I was an athlete my whole life growing up. In my twenties I started gaining weight. The more weight I gained, the less active I became. I was embarrassed and frustrated that I wasn’t physically capable of doing things I had always done. I gave up on myself for a long time.
Part of feeling in alignment with who I am, is being active. I want you to see that if you take the steps sooner rather than later, and ask yourself why, you will get your answer. Your real answer. The answer that will make you light up and say, YES. That’s the reason. That’s what has been missing.
Now, time for homework. Get that journal out (should we start a drinking game where every time I say get your journal out, we drink?), and get to asking why. If you feel like you already have a reason or two that fit your why, write those down. Then keep digging. This is how to stay motivated using your why. I promise you will find an answer that will make you go, aha! You will feel it. Comment or email me and let me know if you have questions, and how it goes!