Does it ever seem like someone has hijacked your feelings? Like you’re not in control of them? The truth is, it probably happens more than you realize. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Society has influenced us on how we should receive and then feel about the experiences we have and how we process them. We have been molded for so long to think that we don’t have control over the way that we feel about things. That when we experience something we have to feel and then in turn react in a certain way. But I am here to tell you the truth about feelings that I wish I had known years ago.
Guess what, friend? That’s not true. Say whaaaaa? I know. Realizing that we are the ones that have control over the emotions that we have, instead of thinking that we are at the mercy of the things that happen to or are said to us, is a bit mind blowing. At least, it blew my mind. Maybe you are more emotionally advanced than I was when I heard this for the first time. But if not, then this is for you. I’m here to tell you that, you are the one who has the power.
The power to feel however it is that you need to feel, as well as realizing that you also don’t have to feel any way at all. Some experiences don’t need an emotion. They don’t need any additional bond than to simply acknowledge that it was something that happened, and you can move on from there. I found that very powerful. To know that no one and no experience has ultimate power over you, unless you make it so.
Now, if you’re anything like me, you may be feeling a tad bit of shame or guilt upon hearing this. Some of my first thoughts about this concept were, oh great, I should have known better. All this time I’ve been letting outside things control me and my mindset, I am so weak. No. Stop that right now. We don’t know what we don’t know. You now have the information and can move on from here.
The past is the past, and we are not about living there. I immediately felt a weight lifted off me once I released those guilty feelings. It felt freeing to know that I truly am the only person who get’s to decide how I feel. Not what society or friends or family tell me to feel. A trauma in your childhood is awful and can definitely affect how you deal with things later in life (I’m with you, I’ve been there), however those thoughts that you’ve been holding onto that tell you to be angry or that you’re allowed to act a certain way because of this terrible thing that you went through, once you know better, are an excuse.
Homework time my friends. The only way we get better at things, is practice. Let’s use the example that someone said something rude to you, and it made you angry. Your first reaction is to say something hurtful or pout the rest of the day. I want to challenge you to hold off on your reaction. Instead I want you to focus on why you are feeling the way you are. Turn inwards and be really mindful about where in your body that feeling is coming from. That vibration is coming from somewhere, and when you can connect with it, you can start to dissect it.
So tell me, will you give it a try? A real try? Not a one and done type deal, a good ol’ college try. Can you think of an experience recently where someone’s words controlled your emotions? Tell me in the comments!