Let's Get Real

My health journey really covers such a wide array of things. From healing to childhood trauma to a 100 pound weight gain in my twenties. One of the common themes among these health issues, was not putting myself first. I often put my wants and needs on the back burner in order to just "be OK", instead of facing the emotional work I needed to do to actually heal. And for so long, I didn't ever associate any physical issues with needing to heal from the inside out. I thought I should just be able to lose the weight by sheer will power and motivation. HA.

Then there was the cycle of shame and guilt for being a failure when the motivation was gone and will power was nowhere to be found. The real culprit is the mind. Our mindsets determine everything. And when you say it out loud its like, duh. But even with how obvious it seems that it is, that to change our mindset would be to change our lives, it wasn't obvious to me. 

Growing up, I was an athlete. I played volleyball and softball, and I loved it. In my freshman year of college I had lost my way in the physical activity department, and gained some weight, so I decided to get back after it. Only I went about it all the wrong way. Sure I lost weight. So much weight, in fact, that my family thought I looked sick. I was spending several hours a day in the gym and eating next to nothing.

This is not a sustainable way to live, and it obviously did not last. I got so burnt out that I quit a healthy lifestyle all together, and turned to food as my solace. Que the weight gain, the self loathing, and the shame. I still didn't put it together that my pain was not caused by my physical state, but my mental one.

From my mid twenties to my early thirties I graduated college, got married, had my son, got divorced, and hit rock bottom. I had no idea how deep rock bottom would be, but let me tell you, it was deep. I was depressed, I felt lost and fed up at the same time. I had so much work to do on myself that I had no idea where to even begin.

Just the thought of talking to someone about my pain felt humiliating. I was ashamed that it took me twenty years and rock bottom to realize that I had some serious healing to do. And the only way that was going to happen was by confronting the pain, not avoiding it. 

I dug in deep y'all. It was ugly, and heart wrenching, and soul moving. I started seeking out all the information in all the ways I could, on how to heal your mind. I knew my old ways were never going to yield the life I knew I wanted to live, and I was finally open to admitting that to myself.

 I listened to podcasts, read books and articles and blogs, and did some ugly crying in between all of that. It took me a couple of years of really hard work to dig myself out of that deep self loathing hole.

Self work and mindset shifts are always a work in progress, but for the first time in a long time, I have a clear vision of what I want my life to be, and I am armed with the knowledge to make it happen. And that is what I want for you. I want to give you the road map I used to make some major mindset changes, so you can start living the way you are really meant to.